the true path to smooth skin is down a sheet of plastic stretched taut and slathered in olive oil…place this on the tallest mountain you can find…or some how rig it so you can slide off of the planet and into the ether…depending on how long you want to live, that’s how long the piece of plastic should be…i’m guessing if you slide rather slowly for about 122 years….you should purchase a piece of plastic about the distance from here to the moon…and about 3 oceans worth of extra virgin olive oil.

smooooootttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh