DISCLAIMER: The information contained in this post is in no way intended to be a guide for the safe operation of a chainsaw.  Use common sense and your own judgement.  If in doubt, don't.  Or ask Nicolai.  Do not copy the person in the picture contained in this blog post in any way.  Crab shields are hazardous.   

I've been preparing for winter 2019 after scoring a whole shat-load of green maple.  So, in the interests of safety and common-sense, I'd like to share with you some tips for chainsawing safely.  

First, always wear the proper attire.  Tight fitting clothing with cut-protection is the way to go.  Don't try and wear trendy baggy style clothing or tongue-in-cheek flares or loons or anything 'cool' because it's just not cool.  And it might just end your life.  So wear practical, comfortable man-made fabrics.  
Eye protection is important.  Chainsaws generate a lot of wood chips and believe you me, if you get one of those in your pie-hole you'll be up shit creek.  Sensible, practical eyewear is the way to go.
Gloves are also wise, they reduce vibration and protect the hand from splinters and dirt.  Below, you can see I am wearing sensible clothing, eyewear and a cut protection shield on my chest.  I am NOT wearing gloves though.  This was stupid.  
Also, ear protection is useful (a wig is not necessarily the best form of ear protection) and sensible, practical footwear – steel toe cap or cut-stop protection is wise.  

DON'T use the chainsaw as if it is a penis extension.  This is not about how big your blade is.  Think safe sex.  

NEVER use a chainsaw with one hand.  

DON'T pose for photographs inbetween cutting.  

ALWAYS stay frosty and alert.  Never daydream when in control of a chainsaw.

DON'T show off.  This isn't a New Kids on the Block competition, man.  Don't fcuk around with powertools, tool.  

DO get a feel for the chainsaw and learn to be it's master.  Respect it's power but don't be frightened.  Sure, it can slice your body into neat little bundles of sashimi, but take time to get used to it's weight and practice how to move it naturally and you'll be fine, friend.